Being in Ontological Mode Means Fully Appreciating & Wanting What You Already Have & Where you Already Are!

In terms of my social scene, adjusting to the University of Georgia (UGA) and Athens has been a little bumpy. It's definitely a work in progress. Before I was exposed to mindfulness and Ontological Being, my mind's mindless tendency was to take most things others did or said to me personally. Like it was about me. Now I rarely do that because I know deeply that initially feeling somewhat lonely in a new state and place isn't personal at all. This is what happens when you move across the country. This is just a phase that I'll grow out of as I make more meaningful connections and establish a life for myself in Athens. I'm also grateful for it because it helped me realized how special and strong my family and friend support system is out of Athens. It also inspired me to write this blog post! In Ontological Mode, our struggles become sources of gratitude, strength and resilience. 

In the bigger scheme of things, when I reflect on ontological being, I deeply remember how badly I wanted to leave Marin County, where I was before moving to Athens, and get funding to do my PhD at a place like UGA, a top research institution. That was all I wanted. Now I got it and notice my Everyday-Mode mind doesn't naturally appreciate it. I need to consciously step into Ontological Being so I can appreciate where I am a lot more! It's too easy and automatic, especially in this competitive world, to never be satisfied, to just want more and more. In high school, all I wanted was to graduate! Then all I wanted was to get into a decent college! Then all I wanted was a Master's program! Then see clients and making a living for myself doing what I love to do. Then a PhD. Now I'm here and it's easy to overlook how much I've accomplished. I know that when I graduate, publish, present more, it may feel like it's not enough either. Ontological Being is about breaking this cycle of never feeling satisfied where I am and always wanting more by replacing it with fully taking in how far I've already come!

Here I’m confident that my clinical skills will improve, my research skills even more, and that I will graduate with a few publications and presentations. This is the type of program that makes a direct influence on the field. Instead of just doing therapy, I will ultimately be participating in how MFT is taught. This program was small and competitive. This way, when I want to be, (a deep wanting with a passion) where I already am, this is Ontological Being; appreciating and living fully every moment like it really matters, because it does!